Freedom sounds mute

A letter that was intended, but was kept ....

Dear You,

First and foremost, I want to personally thank you all for the support you have been showing and offering me and my family. Words don’t show appreciation as actions, but with limited circumstances I promise to keep pushing the limits and fighting for a land that we all call home. Today I write to you, as a man who stands and will always stand on firm beliefs that grow stronger daily, because of you.  While some believe that sitting on the head of the table marks power, I believe that sitting on the same table is the true definition of power.

Some question my abilities and capabilities; it doesn’t surprise me because at some points, I find myself fighting a battle, facing no reactions. I tend to pause with exhaustion, but your determinations ignite mine and that’s what keeps me going.

Dear you, feeling hopeless is normal, it’s part of humanity, but growing hopeless is unacceptable. My xxxx once said, “ It’s the will of the Lebanese, that will always place them on the hot seat, but it’s their ways that will always keep them going.” He was a wise man.

We have been losing the colors of our nationality, and who to blame? Let’s go back to the history class; let’s remember what our teachers taught us about our flag:

Red is for our heroes who we look up to for strength and reminder.

Green is for our Cedar tree that defines our roots.

And white?  Only you can redefine that.

We are all, red, green and white and no one can escape that.

I wake up proud to be Lebanese; I sleep, eat, breath, and live with this pride. I am sticking to the feeling till the end and I hope you all feel that way. Remember some can’t exit Lebanon seeking a new belonging, escaping reality is easy but fighting for a better one has a different taste.  Lebanon is for you, all for you.

Not everyone who holds a brush is an artist, Lebanon was, is and will always be a painting that everyone admires and many envy. Hang it on your walls and remember that no matter what happens you are the colors of that painting.

While we sing out personal anthems, we forget our national anthem. If you ever get to travel, you will learn that “There is no place like home.” Guess what? Lebanon is your home, so kindly revisit your priorities.

Today we launched the xxx new website, nothing but sincere happiness fills me up, because witnessing passion, compassion and dedication reminds me of my xx, xx, xx, xxx and xx who once where white and green and now are red.

Dear you, dear all, I am because of you.

Love,

xxxx

Kings without crowns

I sing to one God and he is way above

Rey2a,

MK

WELL IT'S TIME TO FAREWELL

Dear All,

Usually all generalizes, but in this case you all have become part of my all. Before I proceed, kindly find attached to my face a huge smile. I kindly ask you to accept the sincerest thank you for not just a phase in my life, but a chapter through which na2 na2 na2 followed by more na2 were slapped with love, attention, ears and more so reality checks. You know this chapter will forever find its way till the end.

Today I leave a more mature, optimistic, bold, strong, patient woman, all characteristics I learned from each and every single one of you.

I hope and pray one day, I can move back and do it all over again with you guys, I am staring at my screen quite emotional, hoping nini won’t notice me crying because I hate these moments. You know I have said a lot of goodbyes in my life, you might think it gets easier but it doesn’t.  this one will be a tough one but I am sure it won’t stamp end, because I will do my best to stay in contact. Ehhhh ma ha tekhlaso mene bisohole fa alllllllaaaaaaah redo 3aleye when I say hello.

To each one of you, I wish you the best of luck, as long as you are bold and sincere you will get there J

Perla thank you for being an older sister I never had

Hana thank you for being you

Mavis thank you for your patience and beautiful smile

Ramzi thank you for taking over and leading

Sara thank you for being a classy lady

Min ba3d fiii

That’s it I guess

Yallla guys loveeee you allllllllllllllll

WAIT J

NINI SORRY FOR LEAVING AND THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS BEING THERE TO THE WORLD YOU MEAN TH WORLD. YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL NINI I HAVE EVER MET KEEP YOUR HEAD UP BECAUSE YOU HAVE ALL WHAT IT TAKES TO AIM TO THE STARS AND REACH THEM , OK CANT BREATH

 

THOSE FACES MAKE ME A WINNER

 

LOVE TO ALL

MK

mi amor sólo de noche

Pondering stroke me in the late night/early morning hours, and I enjoyed it. Last night was one of those nights that had “aftermath” written all over. As I walked around the house, with cheating glimpses over my phone every minute or so, I couldn’t help but wonder, where the hell is honesty? According to dictionary.com: Honesty: the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness. According to us: “Ro2os 2aqlam”. I won’t go into details, since details are mostly blurry nowadays. Can someone explain to me the high level of emotions that replace my covers right before dream mode? Every night as I lay in bed, I become the strongest and weakest Micha I know. All the emotions dawn on me leaving me with forgive me, moving on, oh I must, dear lord, thank lord loud thoughts.  Words words word all I see are words!! It’s my last Tuesday at work, it’s a bitter- sweet feeling, but two ladies I got to thank for the daily support nini (camelia arab) wo madam lana de rey. Time flies but we are still on the ground kif?

Ciggys could bond and break

 

 

 

 

 

Te3bene,

 

mk

Life: passion fruit

Every night before I mute out, I think of the best introductions to start my blogs. By the time I hit the snooze button 5 times at least, the thoughts are merely dreams that I can’t remember. I met a guy about a month ago, not just a guy, “THE guy”. I never witnessed such kindness in strangers, I do believe in it, but to encounter it, added a different flavor. I daily digest vitamins believing they would pump that energy that has been diluted into pictures and restricted by frames that limit and loose me. To be frank, the only energy booster that works is humanity. Let me tell you why: as we strolled down, my enemy thoughts strolled away, I was in a war defeated at the beginning, murdered at the end. He looked at me, features concerned, “why are you sad michy?”, at the moment the war scene turned to ash and trash and who fights trash? Kindness, his kindness, reminded me that my reality had an undecided grand finale and I was delighted to play along. You can never deny feelings, but you listen to them, analyze them, understand them and channel them. I still return to the battle zone from minute to minute, but I know I am a whatsapp away to come back. Quite a simple procedure!!!! You can’t dig for humanity, but you appreciate it, adore it and always lean on it when it knocks on your door. To my dearest OAK, “Give me all, give me all, give me all your attention baby ,I got to tell you a little something about yourself You're wonderful, flawless, ooh you're Treasure..” and ladies he is SINGLE.

 

Couldn't a face of a buried innocent soul do it?

 

 

 

lost but never defeated

 

MK

They bang and blame

People people people, God I love me some people!!! Every now and then life’s generous gene turns my way and spoils me with kind, sincere and genuine creatures defined as Humans. If you were to be sitting next to me right now, you would look up and see my past, present and life. To be frank you would have a glimpse of my life, since unfortunately I keep bouncing back and forth, up and down, left and right (now we are dizzy). I was conversing with a friend that keeps growing on me daily (cutie) about the need to let go of the past. As we strolled, I sensed annoyance in his body language and frustration on his face, now being the type that needs to jump on it and rescue the soul from frustration with a falsafe 101 that I sign up everyone to, I asked “are you ok?” he was perfectly fine, just bouncing back and forth, up and down, left and right. It was an incident in the past. You know the past has some nerves, especially when it forcefully draws all over the present and “kemet el waqeha” when it blurs and distracts your future. Who to blame? Well he blamed himself, I usually blame myself, tab who do they blame? The past shouldn’t be forgotten, but the past shouldn’t live on. To my past I love you and I know you are always around, just stand behind me and not in front. I wish nini functioned on loud music. So let me just tell you one thing if you love bad bitches, that's your fucking problem, so keep it to yourself coz our world don’t revolve around em.

some people don't notice, but he does

 

 

 

 

 

amen to men

 

MK



Opinions ain't facts

I am sitting at work staring at the computer screen typing out “ I am sitting at work staring at the computer screen.” Quite lame eh??? Well frankly that’s what I have been feeling lately “LAME”. It’s breaking my heart that my beautiful country “Lebanon” is brought to you by fucked up, money whores, soulless politicians. Every corner utilized by the common person is a resemblance of what we call HELL!!! As I drove to Zahle this past weekend, I think my life flashed in front of my eyes shi 50 times because of the number of deadly jowar you would typically encounter while trying to get home. #yikes #yamama #ya3adra and I definitely need more than “Allah Ma3ek” coz allah would have probably not been able to avoid dem jowar. Apart from the disastrous infrastructure in Lebanon, I still find beauty in Lebanon like meeting certain people that are just wonderful. Nini is uffin and puffin behind me gotta address it!! To whoever is reading “never wait, it will be too late.” And live love, live love, love live whatever but please do it till your last breath.

The pretty lady to the right is nini

nini: a person I am mad about #friend #sister #class #beauty #generosity

 

 

 

Free

MK  

I don't Prooooooooof reeaed

I was relaxing at the pool the other day, a habit I frequently used to do when I lived back in cali, and saw a group of teenagers girls acting like teenager girls. Thank God I had my glasses on, because my vision froze, and my memories took me back to the years. I like to call them my golden years. I saw Tracy, I saw Lisa, I saw my mother in that spot (Rihab peeps would know what I am talking about) and then I saw me. People always tease me “you traveled to the furthest point and here we find you in Zahle wo al Rihab!!!” I usually laugh, that laugh that you can never usually tell what it means “thank you for wasting that second , Lame.” See when you leave home, and you live on trying to serve this new life with an ace, you can never forget that the technique, perseverance, passion, commitment are all characteristics emitting from a place within longing to go back home. I always recall how I used to feel when I would step foot on this country that takes over my soul, “warmth” . Many people relate sadly many people won’t be able to feel that for a long time now “thank you assir and your lovely god knows what!!!”  last week I met up with nini and a new friend as we just lived and discussed and conversed, I randomly spit “I collect memories” within two seconds I realized, I am sooo far away from the notion of evolution especially when it comes to life. I am soo attached to certain details that make up big memories that I daily carry on with me. Is this good or bad? My mother always tells me “Life moves on, carry on but don’t weigh down!’ WISE WOMAN GOD I LOVE HER. Anyways my point that I think I lost throughout the above words, is before you let your memories get to you, build new ones. Certain characters no matter were life placed them could be part of that chapter you are in but the main character is you and the main you is them. Surround yourself with you “people who love you or more so adore you”

I just enrolled myself in Happiness 101: a course built to engage happy thoughts within.

Units: 1

Professor: Michelle Kandalaft

Number of students: 1

University: Life

kel shi bzid 3an hado byen2ass

amen

 

 

please note: Lebnen awalan stamp that and when it comes to religion you ain't practicing it.

 

 

 

 

Calm

 

MK

Restless Soul

I find it pretty funny/unusual that I can only blog when I am feeling emotionally exhausted. Lately I have been lecturing the people I love about the importance of faking it till making it. “Push for positivity and move forward”. At this moment I am standing in front of me yelling it out loud but for some reason I can’t hear me. Some moments I feel like life is excessively feeding me from the grownups plate, not allowing me to enjoy the baby flavors. “I grew up too fast” I tell myself, but I look around and see the same movie rolling. As I lay in bed every night, I stressfully try to imagine my future. See I have this plan in mind, a big one; I am starting to realize it’s bigger than me. Is that dangerous? Or is it excellent ambition? Only time will tell I guess. Whenever I am out and about dancing and enjoying “ohh yeuuuh” music I can’t help but fall in love with everyone around me, it’s funny how impactful music is!! Throw in the “Khomour” and call it Woodstock!!! I am trying to establish a bond with my feelings at his moment trying to explain what I feel, but nothing is coming out. That brick on the chest that requires that deep breaths with the pfff in the end, has been the chorus this morning.  Responding to that chorus is this chorus “Fear don’t Fail me now”, I am starting to doubt my presence in Lebanon these days and its killing me. I am trying to get all I can so in the end I am fine and every door I knock on is taking a long time to open and I am exhausted. I am aware that life is not honey and sugar and we need to lead the battle but at certain point we need a voice louder than ours, a shoulder firm yet soft, a hug warm and fulfilling. Yesterday I sat with someone I madly adore, a reflecting mirror of my passion, and it’s not the lovely dovey admiration. It’s the deep one that makes you listen, care, acknowledge and worry.  Do you feel that way towards someone? Take a deep moment and think of that one person that you seek to impress, to learn from etc. I believe in life we all need that one person to keep us going. “In life many people will try to put you down, you know not many are blessed with our passion, I advise you to stick to it and never give up, “he said. And I listened!!! So whenever the doubt strikes, I strike back with a double dosage of passion.

To whoever is reading if you find passion, invite it and don’t fight it.

There's a war in my mind, a glamorous one!! care to join?

 

 

 

 

Thankful for YOU

MK

it's a dare to say the truth type of era

Last night I simply lived, I let go of all restrictions that this dam society has imposed and just lived. It’s been a while since I ran around not caring about what people have to say or not acknowledging the pointed fingers that most of the times were just shadows and we all know shadows aren’t harmful!!! But we convince ourselves that if the direction is pointed our way then we are guilty as charged. Well babies it’s all Bullshit, yes you hear me BULLSHIT. I ain’t no saint, but I am far away from being a devil. If I stood loving, they talked. If I stood battling, they talked, if I stood smiling they talked. If I stood for a speech they closed their ears and talked. See we live in a society where people who stand regardless for what, will be targeted to sit down. As I clocked every second of last night, I couldn’t help but think of a certain someone that I have grown to lose all my respect when at one point he owned my all. As I sat and contemplated the thought of him, I realized that sometimes people sit us down not with cruel words or pointed fingers, but with smiles, special moments and empty promises. It’s a dangerous world out there I am telling you. You can never tell what face is hiding behind that mask and yes to me most people are wearing masks. Everyone in this world is singing a different anthem, but non are singing the we anthem. It’s a world of I I then we, and to be frank I joined that choir and I am standing first row. I will remain sincere and passionate but I will drop the “oh excuse me did it stress you out when you tried to walk all over me” shi men heda el haki. Oh one more thing, don’t be afraid to acknowledge what road you sought the important part is that you got to where you have to be.

you have to look beyond what's infront you.......it's all an act of distraction

 

and when you choose truth!! fucking say the truth

 

 

 

mestanfera

 

MK

Thank You Malo Family

It’s April 25^th 2013, I want to close my eyes and arrive at May 31^st 2013 to be more precise 9:30 pm. I feel pretty drained at this moment, I am assuming it’s the terrible flu that refuses to let go. Yesterday I conversed with a certain someone on Whatsapp, never can I understand how someone can deliver an argument via characters, I think solid words need to be supported by certain tones to project the right message. Anyways, the conversation ended with a disappointment, “metel el 3ade”. Can someone explain to me why we are so fucking defensive? I think this world is really coming to end!!! There are people out there breaking sound barriers and we can’t event hear the sound of a calm conversation. Are we programmed to not get along, is it the result of this mad conspiracy that they have launched years back. I was at a conference and a man who I respect not because of the last name he inherited but for the simple fact that he listens, brought up a point of which the system doesn’t allow external change or difference, not only do I agree! I am witnessing that being translated in actions within the people. I will give myself as an example since I can support my argument by simply saying “I”. I am constantly approached by people with one argument; do you think you can change what many have tried for years? (Rudely I might add) and passionately I always answer yeas why not, well today I would like to rephrase, FUCK YES. Note to all who doubt, I am not we are not you are not the same as the ones who fought for the change we are starving for. I praise my passion towards a land that I thank God daily for calling it WATANI. There is a saying if you don’t have something nice to say then don’t say anything. We need to learn to integrate it into our lives. It still hurts when people try to put me down, I am blessed with a strong personality but my skin is as thick as yours and what you feel I feel. I can press the mute button at times, but how long can the button work. The point being is that, he who lives with a passionate determination to accomplish what keep the soul going is a hero/winner  regardless of what the outcomes is. I am in Lebanon not to simply magnify its flaws with words like most people/politicians sell through empty words, but to try and magnify it strengths that will soon, if we stand closely witness it overpowering all. If you once tried, try again and if you don’t want to move aside and allow the rest to try.

What I am anxiously waiting for.........daily people call out my resemblance I adore it

 

 

Missing

Mk 

Monster me

This past week I fell in and out of liking loving wanting needing “God knows what coz I don’t even know anymore” a million times.  You can call it an emotional rollercoaster and I can stamp that. Now today I am perfectly fine, I still tend to have moments that I just wonder!!! But it’s all under control. Now tonight it’s a bit tricky, I just hope I’ll be busy enough to forget. Sometimes I feel like I am playing a chess game against me. Plotting to overcome me!! I visited Saint Charbel yesterday, as we drove up and got closer; I realized why so many people have planned several times to take me there. I was dazzled!!! At one point I closed my eyes and imagined my mother next to me, it was a perfect moment. At that moment I thought of what my situation is, then I realized if there is something, someone, anything that doesn’t make you happy 365 days then they are a tenuous element and in life we all know the weak losses. Let them lose your love, your time; your feelings let them lose you. For when they lose you will win. I used to fight to remain sincere to my feelings, but sometimes my feelings weighed me down. In this world you have to have your attitude aligned with theirs, when they play queen you play king. I came to Lebanon with a naïve heart and untrained mind and after two years, it takes one look at someone through the eyes of course to not just read their thoughts, but unravel their all. Do try it, whenever you are conversing with someone look them straight in the eye, it’s a silent movement that brings out a loud truth. Your life is a work of art and art is duplicated!! Let them duplicate you.

                    

 

Be elegant , be bold!!! they both are beautiful

 

 

Kiss and more,

 

MK

When my world revolves around you

just kidding........... it's your turn to talk, share your wisdom and tell me something....

Thank you for Standing

I would like to officially announce that yes my blogs do reflect my state of being. So my words are inspired from a series of fortunate and unfortunate events mixed together. As I write music has to be present, it always gives me that push of mental power. “Music takes you places, so follow it”  Irritation: The state of feeling annoyed, impatient, or angry. The cause: shallowness. It still baffles my mind when I find myself in a midst of a conversation explaining why I am passionate about certain aspects in MY life. I would like to take a step backwards and explain my point, years years back when my hair was always two colors brown top blond bottom, people questioned and criticized. Now all I see is brown top, blond bottom. When I wore ripped pants the same story, when acid wash was in everyone was out etc. you probably fell bored for a split second reading the above, I feel you because I got bored writing it. Now imagine having to explain it. I think the lack of self-confidence projects such questions. I believe we are all born with the ability to cross borders and frame new fences, it’s what makes us human beings. So why waste time framing fences to others? On Sunday, I proudly stood in front of a crowd that water the seed of perseverance in me. At the Kataeb Executive Forum 2013 I shared my story, a story that I share daily. Some praised my boldness and passion, some questioned why me? Some asked if I had a husband….. and some asked why are you so into it? Clearly they didn’t hear me, and surely they don’t care. We daily meet people, the world is extremely generous when it comes to people. But the generosity in people is as minimal as there hearing abilities. I want to apologize for the seconds, sorry I wasted you trying to explain me. People for the love of GOD all mighty, the one you fear and love and pray to whenever you need something. Please invest in yourself, allow yourself to be asked and not ask, allow yourself to fall madly in love with something, something that will matter, and something that you will be asked to share. Since you didn’t ask I would like to share this, “I live to love and love to live and today is mine and so is tomorrow.” If you find weight in that, drop it. One more thing, Humans: Humans are characterized by having a large brain relative to body size, with a particularly well developed neocortex, prefrontal cortex and temporal lobes, making them capable of abstract reasoning, language, introspection, problem solving and culture through social learning. If you don’t fall in this category that’s a problem to question.

YES, I DO!!

 

 

 

Grateful for you,

 

MK

 

 



a broken heart was once a blinded one

In the pyramid of my likings, having a long deep conversation with someone I love falls on the top. After so called hours that seemed like added up spilt seconds I took a deep breath and realized how strictly bordered I have become. As I scroll through the days of my life, I notice the same subjects coming up daily. It is like I pause at night rewind in the morning and play all day over and over again. While I sit thinking of certain people, my future, my friends my family, I feel an added stress taking over. Even at this very moment as I am typing I can feel it elevating reaching my drained brain. At moments I pressure it down with the positive thinking weapon, it works sometimes but that stress still surfaces. I have been seeing this scenario in many stories. Are we the era of stress? When is drowning strictly related to water? When is enough is enough? Is the internal power bolder than the external? So back to the conversation, as we sat in bed discussing and plotting, we realized the reasons we keep using to keep the daily subjects alive are nothing but excuses. There is one question that has bombarded my soul and took over many conversations and still I rotate and come back to that dam question mark. All the answers and reasonings are muted by the silence of the source and I am eager to hear. Will I ever hear? No one knows!! If you are relating to what I just attempted to make sense of you would know how annoyingly unfair it is to be blindfolded when your feelings and all are seeing clearly. So the conclusion, there isn’t a conclusion there is an end. When you turn the wheels to the right and the path leads you to the left, let go.

It's My Turn

Fierce,

MK

I want it Magnetic

In the office about to clock out, the day passed like a second. My thoughts are scattered, I am eager to jump on that treadmill and run my heart out. The past weekend was weirdly fun; of course I came across different people, fun, wild, boring, horny, bold and drunk. A mixture that reflects normal human traits! But one thing went home with me, the deja  vu of some traits that haunt me till this day. Whenever I meet someone especially a guy regardless of the intentions towards, I try to see traits that once defined THE love. Intelligence, kindness, humor, killer music skills different. A hybrid mix of what makes my all drool. Is it healthy to always compare, to allow the standards of the past live on to the present deciding on the future? I agree those traits are positively presented, but why is it I see them bigger and bolder thaN what might possibly be better?  I usually don’t intend to take my thoughts further than the borders of my world, action wise. My friend “Memoire” whispered in my ear “Michelle look around everyone wants anyone, what do you want ?” I sipped on my drink, I remember it was a bit strong , “I don’t want to want anymore.” He grabbed my drink and sipped it away. “ Boudoir “my nickname”  we all want to be a painting, we want someone to love our colors see our story and hang us in a special place.”  I smacked that cute face of his and danced my heart out. He might have drawn us, some of us got the light colors, some got the thin brush, but one thing we all are BEAUTIFUL PAINTINGS AND IT TAKES ONE PERSON TO HANG US.

 

Some will bow, some will vow

 

 

Passionate,

 

MK

 

Under your Spell Life

Yesterday I met a stranger, a stranger of background, a stranger to my environment but no stranger to my humanity. I sensed a language in his eyes, it was a sad one. Eyes can talk and this time it was through tears. The power of silence is tested in motions that have only he who feels and only who sees witness it. He looked at me and his tears spoke to me. Our humanity was “DEATH”, the end that we will all reach, the moment where all of us beings and animals have no say or power. “I didn’t know what the feeling of sadness meant, and people envied for that.” He said. “and now all I know is sadness” he cried. I tried to ease his pain with personal losses that drew a shock on his face. His eyes drew an image of “SUPER WOMEN” on me. I proceeded and forced to minimalize his story, but no loss could be minimalized. He lost his dearest friend to a system that has no friends, to a system that builds enemies and tears walls.  I think we fear the devil hypothetically not realizing we are surrounded by many. I insisted to draw a smile on his face that will wipe the tears. “You see in life, you can manipulate reality!” I explained. He looked angry and confused. “Well to me A is in NYC, W in London, L in Boston, A in zahle….” His confusion grew. There are times in life when people are taken away by the rules of life that will be served to all of us, to face it we can just pretend and imagine. Life can be cruel, but we have been born with tools that allow us march on. Today we lose, tomorrow we gain or vice versa. But no matter how, where, and when always know that the only Man standing is God. So when you fall he will lift you up. And yes I am SUPER WOMAN.

 

Mourn when needed, but don't make it a fashionable Habit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Super Woman for the time being

MK



Fool for you

I took a moment last night to look around, to look at faces, eyes, body expressions, and people. All I could see is waiting, there is that girl waiting for that message on her phone or that guy waiting for a glance, that moment when he looks into her eyes and expresses his interest. But they kept waiting. I was waiting for the thought of him to leave me alone. He occupied me full time, and let me just say he didn’t even apply. There were moments where some fine tunes took me to a place that he didn’t even exist, if there is one thing I am grateful for, its MUSIC. I find deep comfort in fast rhythms and insane beats, It moves me shaking off all the unnecessary.  Now the song is over so back to waiting, it was the right and left movement of the heads that distracted the main purpose of being there, FUN. It is now that we base fun and happiness into the hands of others, some are strangers some are semi strangers some are strangers by thoughts, we wonder where are they, what are they doing, will they ever. It was that night when I looked into his eyes and asked, Will it ever? He walked in, I knew it was him because I saw a soul shine brighter than a diamond, Rihanna would definitely know what I am talking about. He said hello, so he is polite she smiled but acted calmly then he disappeared and she waited all night. Wild in Beirut are souls of many people waiting. Some pretend they reached the finish line, with smiles, statuses “oh god those statuses, lets lie and pretend” or even a fake bouquet that surprisingly landed on the desk. Note: in life there is one finish line and when we reach that it’s too late. Yes I am waiting for you to acknowledge my admiration and hopefully allowing it to blossom, but never will I allow my happiness to linger. There is a revolution beneath all the dreams that is waiting to explode. Don’t fear the falling when you know the only man standing is GOD. Grab a bucket of boldness and paint your walls with hope, dreams, love and LIFE and never wait. Well just on the red light........ and he never answered.

 

Let your inner diva take over, dance and let everyone look, feel and care less and in the end Live because it only comes once.

 

 

 

 

YOU

MK

The power of deciding

I finally landed on the American soil or more so the long anticipated one. That soil wasn’t that popular last year but at this very moment it’s the item of the week type of thing. I came to realize that there are three handcrafted by God people that pleasantly imprisoned my heart Robert Laure and Carl Kandalaft to define it #Family that could make desert fruitful for me.  I feel very ill at this moment a terrible cold flu who knows but its definitely not overpowering the feeling of “safe “that warms my soul. Enough about family and souls, there is certain someone out there that has been promised some good stuff. Have you ever kissed someone and suddenly images of men you once felt hopeless without or simply yearned to kiss flash rapidly in your head? for boys ad wo to men? Well that happened to me a week ago, I felt the need to stop and acknowledge those images that dizzied me. But the good thing about flashbacks is that they can’t overcome reality. Some website described me and a million women and more out there as intuitive, controlling, and sometimes self-destructive, but in all this we have a certain deadly beauty to our personalities. we are fearless and stubborn and even when life gets a little tricky we merely take it on the chin and keep going. They were talking about scorpio women. Clever words describing a personality so sharply edged it penetrates vigorously, leaving damages most of the time. I have been noticing lately how disappointingly hard it is to find a decent man or woman. People are playing games with no rules! Who wins in the end is in the hands of the heartless and senseless. Yes I want to be deeply be in love and I want to wrap his all around my all and I want to look into the eyes of the future with him holding my hand and yes I want to get high of his love and adoration. In this world you have nothing to loose nothing to gain, so why do I see tragic scenarios that have no humanity. It’s the “ I KISSED A GIRL AND I LIKED IT” lyrics that you hear men chanting to one another and when the phone rings “3ade hayete mashwe wo el chabeb”. The thought of him sustained me but the reality of him tortured me, I had to loose him without even owning him to know what freedom really is. To the men and women out there who believe that when the heart feels, everything around it follows, to you who give and aren’t given and to you who are pushed to a nomadic type of madness that pushes you to keep moving for the sake of forgetting! Drop it. He who doesn’t care is not aware. I will leave you with you, because the word you starts with you and ends with u. 

Tongues are bloody weapons

thoughts driving fast

MK