Bhebak Ya Lebnan

I have seen this video several times and each time, it grabs my heart and squeezes it so hard leaving me out of breath. We have all the weapons in the world (education, culture, beauty, depth..) to fight for a hopeless country. Let us be remembered as the Lebanese who brought life back to Lebanon, not the ones who murdered it and walked in its funeral. They who hold authority are figures of speech, we are the action. Love, Believe and Act as One.

You have one right! The right to be Lebanese.

All should be One

Proud Lebanese,

MK

Cheers Scorpionitas

Your challenge



Your Scorpio beauty is attracted to power, so if you have it, you are ahead of the game. Your other challenge will be that this lady has a mind of her own, so if you think you can tame her, forget it.

She will.....

Scorpio will defend and support her man to the ends of the earth. 

Scorpio women are into control, and with her magnetic, femme fatale powers, she will soon have the upper hand. After all, who could resist her famous Scorpion gaze, those memorable bedroom eyes?

and...

She is full of flair and intrigue, a fascinating woman that the strong A-type personality male will adore, for she presents the right amount of challenge with the right amount of rewards. The Scorpio woman is the ultimate seductive, flirtatious woman. She won't give a man her heart very easily because she is weary of trusting another person.

In the end...

Scorpios  like strong, real people with driving ambitious personality like theirs.

"Come and walk with me 

let me kiss you so hard under all the eyes.

Passionate,

MK

Defacement

Throughout my 24 years on earth, I have witnessed people not being able to just simply stare and appreciate a scene. It’s always a blade they secretly carry and when no one is looking they start scratching. We are all targeted by hackers that try to make their conflicts a less personal and more public one but through us. We all have insecurities, walls blocking, and dreams held. But not all of us try to turn the situation around buy inflecting the problems onto others. I think the deep desire to succeed is pushing people to deface one another’s work and not in a Warhol/Basquiat type of way. I think admiration is fading and jealousy is spreading.  We are all rebels looking for security, but we need to pay with our all to reach that level.  I see myself as a wild child in an expensive suit trying to walk in the same pace as my fellow beings. I am terribly out of breath, but I will keep walking because I learned if you pause someone will step on you and instead of leaving marks, you will become one’s.  We came to this world as radiant as it can get, don’t loose your light because someone is shinning brighter! We are all seen.

Beauty+Beauty = Beautiful

Missing,

MK

This year....

I will fall in love the crazy extreme passionate type of love.

I will dance my heart out

I will smoke moderately

I will go as far as I want

I will fight less

I will let go

JOIN ME

Cheers to the NEW

MK

Love is not a Tramp

I can recall many incidents in life where I witnessed love being treated badly. Love is a friend to all of us, sometimes it makes our world go round and round.But, sometimes it stabs you in the heart and leads to pain that destroys the membrane. My admiration to men throughout the years has made me wonder what moments was I really in love? Being emotional and extreme I tend to fall in love with different actions and thoughts a man reveals at first sight (I have always been fascinated with men who have seen and experienced more than I have). Some took that feeling for granted and like always I dramatically suffer, then at a random day I brush it of and keep walking. I see women begging for their love to be shard, I see men counting on that desperate love to full fill desired needs. I don't blame women for wanting love( I live of being in love), but I feel disappointed when that love is treated like a tramp. Who can we blame here? Women? Men? The society? What ever happened to Mr. Right seeking to find your phone number and nervously make that call to ask you out. MEN!!!! I say out loud, we are liberated woman, we don't mind kissing on the first date, we work for our money etc. But,we want the gentle back in men.

I wonder if he will call?

Amen,

MK

Noraire Dawrak !!

My dear friend Nunu, confidently stated today, "Why haven't you been writing anything interesting?" I hid behind a typical Micha answer, "I am uninspired and depressed." I felt pretty stupid saying it, so I decided to do something more stupid and blast "I am titanium" and dance out loud. As I danced my heart out, I started focusing on the lyrics. At this point I am out of breath, drenched in sweat, I replayed the song about three times, yes very movie like, I am quite a dramatic character. The more I danced the more I screamed the lyrics extremely out loud. It felt fucking amazing!! As i showered afterwards (excellent place to think), I thought to myself, "I am such a nagger, I mean ma na2esne shi, why do I pause a lot?" What i am going through right now is tough, but normal for my age. I am Miss Ma3jou2a, one second I want to go to Paris for my masters, then I want to get married and start a family, wo halla open a business with papa bear. Every night I look at my beautiful mother and complain, " TOOT bi haze, lek nothing is working out." She grabs me and kisses my cheeks and tells me "It's ok Habib, it will get better, we will support you forever." I think she should slap me instead. I mean whats wrong with me, so what I am confused!! I am capable of following each dream. So my message after all this ja2ja2a is, "Being confused is beautiful, at least I am capable of having many choices wo akid  I am bulletproof nothing to loose, So LIFE, fire away fire away.

Public Display of Affection: WANTED

Blood thick as thieves,

MK

Picture of the month

I will follow you, he will follow me, she will follow him, but will you follow me?

They tell me play games to get want you want. I never. It takes guts to approach a hopeless case, and balls to turn it around.

Ladies never ask why, always state why.

Vive la femme

Power to the WO-MEN

MK

Favorite Words

Simple words put together, can make a soul shaking statement:

The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho

She raised her arms in the air and cried: “When I die, bury me standing, because I’ve spent all my life on my knees.”

I see Penelope in that scene

Inspired,

MK

The coffee is never too strong

I used to squeeze his hand three times when we sat among people. It was one of the ways to say I LOVE YOU. What happened to that love? None of us are angels but devils we gladly acted. In the end, it felt like a story that caused paper cuts with every page turned. I used to think it was simply bad luck, but in the ABC of life you can not blame luck. "There there, you are ok!" my brain tells my heart. I seem to channel my feelings in words, I believe that exporting your feelings is a smart way to overcome. Why is it at certain moments, we feel the no need to acknowledge that love? People would ask me are you ok? I would confidently answer, "Of course". Is it the speeding cars full of people, adventures, stories, laughter that pick you and allow you to enjoy being single and released of a thigh that you will soon start craving? What is this cycle that always has unfinished business?

It's like looking at a mirror

Sleepless,

MK

One more Cigarette por favor

Is it possible to be hit by the jetlag bug three weeks into it? I couldn’t find any sleep till late hours of the night, was it the brain taking over and depriving me from needed rest? I read, I YouTube videos, I came upon one that was 45 minutes long and discussed the slow death of Lebanon ( I have seen that video a while back but the power of it is still mind blowing). Now after that I became furious, I cried I cussed I planned. For most of you who know me, know that my soul and whole is drenched with Lebanon. The moment I stepped foot in the states people nicknamed me “Lebanon”. Proudly I carried it. I have been blogging quite a bit lately; it’s a way to keep my mind stimulated, so apologies to the broadcast messages and postings. I keep trying to stay in contact with people back home, it’s a way to overcome the miles and miles that frankly I would walk or swim to be back. “Because I'm so clever, but clever ain't wise”. I am 99.9 percent convinced that moving back is a clever move but wise who knows, time will tell. I just hope that one percent doesn’t speak out loud and trigger my spontaneous behavior. At the end of this year, I have learned that conflicts created between two people is a waste, I was in scenes where I looked into myself and said, “Micha is this really necessary.” So silence is a great weapon at times, I recommend you use it and if you can’t I have one thing to tell you, “Oh, you're so clever, you're so clever. But you're not very nice, so fuck forever”.

That Road between Beirut and Zahle, was simply adventures waiting to be sought.

Fuck the Government,

MK

“Said woman take it slow, things will be just fine, you and I'll just use a little patience, said sugar take the time, because the lights are shining bright.” He once said. My daily struggles creep on me every morning, I try to wonder why I suffer from this nonsense. It took a bbm conversation with RJ to realize my lack of respect to time is what’s causing this mess.  I am traveling 85 miles an hour in a 45 miles an hour zone. What is causing this rush? There are many speeding cars around me, but maybe their time is the impatient one. Nothing lasts forever and knowing that maybe makes me want to go through the ABC’s of life as fast as I can. As I sit among my friends who have walked down that aisle to spend the rest of their lives with that one who stole the key to their heart. I can’t help but wonder, will I find that one? if you really know me you would know how sincerely I am obsessed with weddings, my phone is full of pictures that I share with every bride to (maybe I should become a wedding planner), and then comes the question when’s the wedding, I joke “when the 3ariss arrives”. Is it the beauty of the dress, the attention, the flowers etc that makes weddings so appealing to me? I witnessed a lot of I DO’S and I am the one that stands with the biggest smile absorbing the whole event (yea maybe I should be a wedding planner).It was me and four beauties that took over the world, one is happily married now and still ruling, one is a bride in heaven and the other two are going to be the most beautiful brides I cannot wait to see. It was yesterday that we sat in my room discussing what seemed to be the deepest and most crucial in life. Time never stops, we might hit pause to sit and reminisce, but time is still flowing. It was yesterday I was sixteen, hugging you goodbye and now we are dealing with forever goodbyes and grownup talk.  Dear time I will learn to respect you, but slow down chewy ;) I have set many goals for 2012, if I don’t accomplish or reach, there will always be 2013.

The light  in the Sweet November Rain

Calm,

MK

One eyed gypsy

Some nights in the present take you back to past moments that leave you smiling and missing. Driving back with my beautiful Argentina last night, it wasn’t only miles we were crossing we went down the insane wild memory lane of fun, dancing, love and Mexico. By years it was only three, but to us it seemed ages ago. We laughed, we offered silent moments and we remembered, what makes certain phases unforgettable? I am sure you all have certain phases that you have or will encounter that will forever be triggered no matter how much time has passed. I find myself grateful to have kept what was real from those days, sincere, beautiful and forever friends. I find myself living different lives at once, back home some acts are put on because it’s a circus show, here I can be any character at any point. I have found true people back home where I can sit and be me, Cheers to you fellow potential workout buddies (RJ) who take in every complaint I have and turn into a needed challenge. To the Barbie girls who turn my frown upside down (Lilo est Nano) (tpu2 tpu2), to high school buss peers(NB) who make the sky the limit and in the end the free spirits I admire terribly. Today is a struggle, tomorrow will probably be the same, but who isn’t struggling, I find through struggle the true unravels. I will try my hardest to stop asking what if, why and when. I deeply believe in the power of knowing what you want and getting it, been there done that.

He called me a dancing queen, I agreed (rip)

Sleepy

MK

Feel my Adrenalin

USC, PARIS, BEIRUT,NEW YORK,LONDON,ITALY I have been going and coming back every second. 24 years old and I still don’t know where to stand in life and what to prioritize. A thug indeed, but in terrible need to find that brick and start building. I have learned to live and seize moments, I will never wait because what I feel even life can’t deny. As I sit home in California I can’t help but deeply miss every second in Lebanon, even the ugly ones. To me life is an adventure even if you are sitting home with no electricity waiting for the “motor” you can create a memorable moment. I met great people this year; they sparked interests that turned hopeless moments to unforgettable. I learned to smile more even when taking pictures, to tolerate, to expand and to seek what I want. I failed at times, but the success from the bigger attempts made up for all. When love turned to madness, I learned to step aside coz baby all I want to do is dance! I still believe crazy love has a happy ending, so to all you lovers out there who scream more than kiss, who cry more than laugh, who cuss more than hug, look at one another and do the opposite. We lose more than we gain in life, C’est la vie, we can’t change how the story is written because the writer is unreachable. But, we can accept his words and gracefully become the best characters we could be. Live for one and live for all.

                                   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-uEU0Q45hE&feature=fvst

Live, love and Dance

Proud,

MK

Empty seat

Bad, bad, bad it has been really bad. Do I regret? Never! I have done a little of everything. Will I pay the price? Maybe. I am sure there would have been a greater loss if I had repressed myself. Many people judged me for fighting to live in Lebanon, they have witnessed many doors slam in my face. I cared at certain moments, then would think at least I am knocking on doors. If we live in our comfort zone  how would we be able to know what we are capable of. It is easy to sit and judge, but let me tell you why I fought. If I close my eyes, I see a young girl staring at graduates celebrating the end of a great era (high school) now that girl couldn't wait to graduate with her friends. Her dream was cut short a year and a half prior. My friends became my all, for them I fought as hard as I could to come back and relive all the memories that froze in my heart. I fought for a land I proudly carried it's legacy, I fought for my family that made us complete. Many gaps were created when I left, I don't deny my deep Respect to the land that Mothered for eight years. But, Lebanon Forever won my heart over. To all who have something to say, my shoes are open for you to try. If you succeed I will learn and if you fail I will be right next to you. Life is give and take, it just takes time. 


Missing you
MK

Not gone, Always here

Destination Heaven! You have always been the one to lead and we follow. Some might take time to reach but we will all stand next to you one day. With every sad thought my precious I am forcing a happy memory to follow. Where to go now? Can you help us? Do you hear us? The old are mourning, the young are mourning, and the friends, the family, the strangers, and the world are mourning. Laure keeps telling me to pray, I will pray. Habibi you were so full of life, no one could have lived it up like you, no one will accomplish like you did. All my life I never went close to the Halewe box, bass when Lisa asked for Halewe in the morning, Micha wanted halewe. All these memories I could replay in my head till my last breath, but to be honest I would have liked to live and build more. I am grateful for the feature resemblance that runs in your beautiful family, that way we can always see you. This will not be a tear shedding moment then period. It will be a story that will never have an ending. With every year I grow, you will grow with me, what lies ahead you will witness. Up there you have many loved ones, you might be young bass I am sure through you they will seek comfort. My words might be minimal my dearest friend, bass the feelings inside are endless. “Don't give in to your fears. If you do, you won't be able to talk to your heart.” PC. You are a Champion hayete, I have, and I am and will be always one of your biggest fans. I could understand why God would want you next to him, I used to beg you to visit me and we all know God doesn’t beg.

You will always smile, dance, laugh, love...........

 Mitochondria for life

When I was walking down the street dodoo

I saw something really wierd dodooo

It was a big peice of meat dodooo

It was something i really wanted to eat dodooo

Then I met this guy named Pete dodoo

And he wanted a peice of the meat.

"Our number one single"

Needing you,

MK

.......

Who says tears are for women? Whenever I visited my grandparents I would always complain how emotionally poor my grandfather is. Show me some love Jesus!! I would seriouly joke around. Today he cried his eyes out as he hugged me goodbye. Emotions shouldn't be best described in words cause not all are good with words. It takes certain special moments to see some people from the inside. I love you Jedo


Love
Mk

Straights lines bore me

Round of applause to you all. New day , new beginning. We all suffer from
what seems as the worse day of our lives, but waking up the next day makes
us the winners. Be faithful to yourself and let the sad moments, memories,
and thoughts be a brick put to form an unbreakable wall that will later
become a shield. I strongly force the idea of trying to discover a whole
universe inside your own body. Because, if you shine you will be noticed.
To all my friends and myself, it might not be earth shattering to sit and
complain and whine, but certain moments could be talking to you so listen
out. The future you seek might never arrive, but be grateful for having one.

We are one
MK

Two failed relationships and a new hair do

Sleepless in Beirut, I lay thinking what makes certain relationships go strong.
Having been in two serious relationships, I find myself still an amateur.
Being blessed with a mind that doesn't prioritize men, I am still curious to
know why some love stories have sour endings. Recently I witnessed a lot of
breakups that had promising futures. Is it the high expectations we set that
lead to tears and broken promises. Who suffers more in a breakup the male or
the female? My story could be described as Two Joe's and the other who will
surely bite the dust. Do past relationships haunt the soon to be ones.?
In the end like they say, if it's meant to be no one can escape.

Hare Krishna
MK

Amen to men

Dear All,

There are two things in life you need to help you survive no matter where your feet will land. Hope and love. I have landed in many places throughout my 23 years on this scared yet sinful earth. Hope I courageously carried around, but finding love was my soul destruction. I have been in my beloved Lebanon for almost a year and a half and looking back to the moment I landed, I still feel passionate about it. There is something in the air as you arrive that makes you feel at home, safe, and ready to rip all foreign passports. It has been a daily struggle to convince myself that I belong here. I have comprised my biggest blessings, Parents, for my Lebanon, yet I feel torn between a land that mothered me and offered me adventures and self-discovering opportunities, and a land that will always and forever define me. I have fallen in love with Lebanon the moment it was taken away from me. Why is it that we claim love when we no longer have? Why do we fall in love when we don’t even know? Are we abusing the feeling of love to escape reality? Soon I will be back in the states where I will witness what true love means. As I write this I can’t help but be happy and sad. Throughout my journey in Lebanon, I have realized Time is what defines it all. When it’s your time, it will happen. As for now I will leave you with this, do you believe in time, or we make it happen?

She is she and I am me, simply black vs white

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Albert Einstein 

Love,

MK

Hello Stranger!

Has your soul ever been whipped? Do you ever feel as if the whole world is suddenly standing against you and not around you?  To all man, life is a cycle one day for you and the other not. But, what makes today my day? We are taught in life to always be positive. As my mother would say, “Micha always be positive”, I would simply stare at her and say, “YA! OK!”. What is being positive? Smiling for life to smile back or looking brightly at dark things? I have learned that being positive comes as a verb. By what we do daily, we built the next day. We are positive when we love the most at their lowest points. We are positive when we try to make one smile in a sour moment. We are positive when we lend a hand to one that was once selfish to us. We are positive when we fight the negative with love. Life has built a cruel character within that appears from time to time, but my parents have built morals that stand positively against my cruel intentions. It’s an internal war, for being evil is far more easier than being good.  It’s the face that turns away that make men, not the tongue that talks back.  I am who I am and you who you are and you and I are we and forever we will be free, so live for thee and always share your cup of tea.

 They are the wise, drink from their cups

PeAcE

MK

Burried by its own People

One day I will leave, it will not be known when I step back on my beloved soil. I have learned to accept the massacre that has been caused to you my dear Lebanon, but your wasted beauty will forever leave a painful scar within .As I walk my daily morning and afternoon walks to work, I come upon the old houses that have once been full of life and love. Sincerely I say, even with your empty walls and cold rooms you take my breath away. Everything Old in Lebanon is beautiful: the houses, the roads, the traditions and the people. It was (Living 3al Barake) type of life, where having a family dinner gathering was a highlight. Since I am very far away from my family, I have come to realize how important family gatherings are. Breaking bread with a homemade meal is a blessing. To you who live with your family and complain sorry but SHUT THE F$%# UP, and appreciate it. There is nothing worse than a lonely Sunday with pickup food. Now life is choices and sacrifices so I will shut the f#$% up and accept it. Now lets look at the bigger picture. Lebanon is our home, its not mine, its not yours its ours! If you think your step is leaving a better mark than mine, think again because a mark is simply a gesture to show that you are still walking. If we all have a dinner gathering and share our daily gains and losses, Lebanon would smile. Can we please stop being selfish and love our Lebanon. So recently I hung a picture in my roomof my favorite Lebanese Soul, The loving Bachir Gemayel ( may he be resting in peace). Everyone asks me why the extreme love? I correct the love statement with admiration. For someone to have loved Lebanon that much, how could you not praise his wasted soul? It’s not religion or politics, it’s commonsense. So I will leave you with this : Buy it, use it, break it, fix it,Trash it, change it, mail - upgrade it,Charge it, point it, zoom it, press it,Snap it, work it, quick - erase it,Write it, cut it, paste it, save it,Load it, check it, quick - rewrite it,Plug it, play it, burn it, rip it,Drag and drop it, zip - unzip it,Lock it, fill it, call it, find it,View it, code it, jam - unlock it,Surf it, scroll it, pause it, click it,Cross it, crack it, switch - update it,Name it, rate it, tune it, print it,Scan it, send it, fax - rename it,Touch it, bring it, Pay it, watch it,Turn it, leave it, start - format it. BUT MOST OF ALL LOVE IT AND FIGHT FOR IT.

You are Lebanon

Love,

Michelle Robert Laure Malo Kandalaft

Photo of the Month

i can never imagine my life without you two.
all for one and one for all

I'll be your friend

Inside I witness a rebel of society. I declared wars, I fell in love with forbidden fruits, I shot men down, I published all hidden-vulnerable secrets and most of all I drove like a maniac. Is it weakness or strength that keeps me so bordered? Everyone around me seems to be doing all of this; I don’t witness much drastic consequences.  All my knowing’s have been blessed with reputations that arrived earlier than their physicality, I always found that quite intriguing, I mean who wouldn’t want to be friends with a party animal, a loosy floosy, a mess with me and say hello to the bullet between your eyes and my favorite the illegals? Now who decides these labels? Now I can tell you, because I have seen the words fire out of their mouths.  Now who believes these words? I can surely tell you as well, the party animals, the loosy floosy, the mess with me and say hello to the bullet between your eyes, the illegals, and the COWARDS. In life learn to base your friends on their eternal dedication, love, admiration, loyalty and sincerity to you. Reputations come and go, but who you really are will stay the same forever. Give chances and live wisely.

everyone is aiming a camera at you, so always make sure to smile

love, peace and unity

michelle kandalaft

Photo of the Month

 

Let your shadow guide you for once 

What burns me will burn you

Should I knock on your doors to tell you the truth, or should you consume your life with you. What do you know about us? Yes us! The ones who take over your tongues, thoughts and dreams.  We have heard of  your names, stories and secrets but do we share? Never, because life is a sliver knife that stabs you in the back when it decides to. You might witness our reflection on it, but fear not ,we are not holding it.See we are the ones that step back and allow the movie to role, we don’t pause we just watch.  I have seen the most of life and let me tell you, the most is decades away from you. I have given some chances in life, do I regret? Not at all, because I move forward in life unlike some whom will remain my past forever. My blood is thick as thieves and my fear is loyal to one “God”. So to you who think highly of yourselves, look at me and you will see an image that you will never be. I advice thyself and you to wrap that weapon and live  for one not them. 

 Do whatever makes you happy, because in the end you are smiling

Love,

Michelle Kandalaft

Photo of the month

When I first came upon this Mona Lisa about a year ago, I did the same face. Who on earth is this girl? And why is she taking over my best friend's profile. :) Well soon enough I took over hers and she took over mine.
Love you soulie

FREEDOM

“All men betray. All lose heart”, I watched Braveheart back in 1995, and saw it many times more. But last night, I really watched Braveheart, and you could see my heart beating with every passing scene. Lands, homes, wives, kids, hearts, dreams but not starvation for freedom were taken away. Look around you at this very moment, what do you see? I see a land with no dreams, broken homes-hearts, kids running to lands of dreams and a nation giving its freedom away. “Lands, titles, men, power, nothing.”  This movie depicts the story of how William Wallace, lost all to gain freedom. To all you out there who follow these so called leaders, let me tell you they aren’t William Wallace. They are simply manipulators who wrap your dreams with ribbons promising to turn them into presents at the right time. “But, they do nothing but talk.” People constantly ask me, “Why on earth did you come back?” My answer is as simple as their love to their country. “I belong here”. Day by day I realize that in my beloved-destroyed mother land, the internally weak, mean, conniving bastards are the ones that are standing for love is give and take not simply take, “At last, you know what it means to hate. Now you're ready to be a king.” We live to show off, about dad’s money, my car, my house, my admirers, but we never show off our love and dedication to Lebanon, because there isn’t any. We will all die one day, and we will be remembered as the people who sold Lebanon, the traitors, and a few years down we will be forgotten. We sing the anthems, but we only know the tunes, we celebrate Independence Day, but we are not free. We are Lebanese by name but not by blood, for blood fears no one but God. Long live the thieves, prostitutes, haters, cowards etc should be Lebanon’s new anthem.

Leader

Sincerely,

MK