My brain is all over the place, one second I am here the other I am there. I keep coming to the same question, what if? And I hate it. I feel as if I pause and loose time whenever I ask it, but I cannot escape it. Driving back from the capital I sat in the back seat feeling nauseas, I had nothing to do but think. I thought of my parents, friends, how much more clothes I needed and then I arrived to the most painful thought, my dear friend in heaven. Soon it will be a year and it still feels like yesterday and it still feels like no way. Again the “what if” question comes to the center of the thought, and anger follows after. Life feels on pause all the time when I think of our angel, I try to learn lessons from this incident such as love and don’t hate, live and don’t worry and smile, smile a lot. I feel like deaths unites people, even enemies. There is always this commonality that both parties cannot avoid, and that brings them to stand as one. It is weird how death physically separates loved ones and in some cases joins the ones who claim to hate. Should we wait for death to say sorry I love you or it doesn’t really matter because life is about who wins in the end?
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