one two three ....million......still awake

Whatever happened to the counting sheep method to help facilitate the process of a nawme haniye. My thoughts are becoming louder than me at night, it seems as a thought battle occuring. It's a hopeless feeling. Today a man died, he left behind many broken hearts, I saw that sadness in her eyes and in her words. That man wrote a will two days ago!!! Do we hear our clock ticking? And we react upon. It scares me how some people feel death and they deliver a message just at the last minute. All  I could say is, die fast and travel slow.

What if ?

My brain is all over the place, one second I am here the other I am there. I keep coming to the same question, what if? And I hate it. I feel as if I pause and loose time whenever I ask it, but I cannot escape it.  Driving back from the capital I sat in the back seat feeling nauseas, I had nothing to do but think. I thought of my parents, friends, how much more clothes I needed and then I arrived to the most painful thought, my dear friend in heaven. Soon it will be a year and it still feels like yesterday and it still feels like no way. Again the “what if” question comes to the center of the thought, and anger follows after. Life feels on pause all the time when I think of our angel, I try to learn lessons from this incident such as love and don’t hate, live and don’t worry and smile, smile a lot. I feel like deaths unites people, even enemies. There is always this commonality that both parties cannot avoid, and that brings them to stand as one. It is weird how death physically separates loved ones and in some cases joins the ones who claim to hate. Should we wait for death to say sorry I love you or it doesn’t really matter because life is about who wins in the end?

Know Your Center

It was dark and cold that one night, but she shined from a distance.  I couldn’t help but notice this delicate creature as we all walked aimlessly. But she seemed to know her way. She was so beautiful and innocent, so vulnerable and cold. She walked with her arms grasping on to her body, I noticed tears hidden in her eyes and sadness emitting from her soul. Then I looked ahead, and saw a man who walked straight not leaving any trace of attention to look backwards. The puzzle is starting to unravel.  She was the followers and he was the powerful. As I looked deeper into the picture I couldn’t help but despise this man that I have no clue about. How could someone ignore such a beauty? The energy she emitted into the universe absorbed our all. But, he kept walking and walking and she kept following and following. They reached a point where they had to pause and meet. She looked at him afraid, this was not her environment. He intentionally ignored her and departed.  In the taxi back, she was a no one for she left her behind. She looks back at me

When Fashion Speaks Out Loud

I believe people are born with a fashion gene, for not many have the right outlook on it. It doesn't take money to make you a fashionista, it takes guts. Growing up I had a muse surrounding me at all times, Mother. I would steal my dad's leather jackets as he traveled and make clothes. The consequences were far more powerful than the execution. But it didn't stop me; I kept making clothes till the late night hours of the night. So now I finally decided to stop the parent's clothes cutting and buy my own fabric and execute on my behalf. So stay tuned for my own fashion line, it will be a recipe of moi, toi and what my eyes got used to as I grew up my mother. But for now I’ll sneak you in my daily visits, below is a picture of SPJ in Marchesa, one of my favorite designers, I cannot get enough.

Stand for the Champs

Feeling quite full at this moment, Dagher sandwiches can be deadly!!!!!!!!!!!! So Annibal played tonight against Champville, it was a close game.  But what I noticed mostly in this game was a bit of fear that the Annibal champs carried within. Fear leads to hesitation, hesitation leads to loss, and loss leads to losing. Ever since I opened my eyes to this world I have been an Annibal fan, especially since my father was a dedicated player and fan, so in runs in the family and blood. As we sat cheering, our anxiousness kept us jumping.  I thought to myself maybe some crazy music would pump up the adrenalin, there was something missing. So the potential is there, the heart is there, the game is there WTH is missing? Would some cheerleaders do it? Or maybe a louder crowd???  So I’ll blame us, we need to be louder!!!! We need to bring on the winner’s energy.  It is us they reperesent and we need to make a statement.

Goodluck Annibal You make us proud with every step

Photo of the month

                                                                  My Dear friend in Paris
                                                                                 <3

Min Ana?

Last night, me and beautiful love, Z, decided to watch a movie. As we scrolled through the channels “The Book of Eli” was on. Z was ecstatic, I wasn’t so. I started my usual nagging and whining, “another I kill you all movie, Jesus doesn’t it get old”. He insisted I watch it, so after I got bored of trying to steal away the remote, I thought to myself, “I claim to be open the most open minded person in the world, I am so not acting upon.” So I put an X on my mouth and warmed up to Z, and it began. The movie was beautiful let me say, emotional yet strong, hopeless yet the light in the end of the tunnel seemed so bright. It made me think, today we fight and hate due to religions, God told me no God told me. In the movie it shows that the only missing aspect in the remaining world was religion. Now sit and think for a while, when you are feeling down and have no one to hear you out, you raise your head high or low depending who u believe in, and pray. Well we mostly ask! If we really read the words and not between the lines and see what is, not what our eyes want to see, we would realize that religion has no enemy. So why do we stand with a religion weapon in our hands fighting for more land, money etc?  Living in the states opened me to many diverse people; I had friends that would considered enemies back home.  We stand as beings, human beings not animals. Min ana? Ana metlak wo enta metle.

Yummy to the Tummy

Loving my tummy, has awarded with a great knowledge of knowing where to find the goods in Zahle. So I will list all the best foods you would find if you are ever in my city.

Hamburger: Always
Falefel: Belbol
Belghari Man2ouche: Number One
Tawouk: Massaad
Roast Beef Sandwich: Adonis
Cocktail drinks: Cafe Sea Sweet for moi other's Adonis
Fattouch:Hollywood Cafe
Ice Cream : Tony Stick
Chocolate Fondant : Cafe Najjar
America Coffee: Dunkin Donuts
Broasted Chicken : Le Poulet
French Fries: Hollywood Cafe
Termos: Sixties Pub
Alcohol: Abou Nassif aka cheikh
Tabikh: Layla Meser3ani aka Mekhtara ( invite only very vip )
Ketal: Grandparents
Pasta: Mazaj

This is getting me hungry gtg
love peace unity

Lambs vs Pics

To you I write with frozen feet, since it's freezing at night in Zahle. If you are not familiar with this small, yet so big city please do google. Leaving eight years ago, meant nothing more than goodbye see you soon. I was determined to move back and build what's left of my life. So recently I started giving attention to the parked, speeding and glamorous cars. But wait you are in debt and live in a one bedroom apt with you parents and five siblings? And you were in prison for money laundering? WTH. And then passes the Lambo aka Lamborghini. After a couple of yeee yaaa everyone realized it was a self given present for some give and taken ehem. Now some wowed some smiled some wished and some hated. To tell you the truth I have seen these acts before, but more a scene where guys are drewling and following a non-worthy girl in a new-expensive ride. Then follows the mothers, "my son is dating flen benet fleyten" huge smiles akiid. Now let's trace where that money is coming from? No comment. Would the mother be proud if she was saying "my son is dating the daughter of the number one dealer in the city or vice versa?"  I think not. I look around and see true men sweating dreams and hardwork away to be able to buy a Picanto, and then I look and see a nothing dealing dirty and buying a Lamborghini and more so people's attention. It is a shame, if we all take a second and appreciate the general we would realize that the little are really worth a little.