You shouldn't have slept with him...the friend judged, but I love him....she cried

My whole life was based on honesty; even life itself was tremendously honest with me. I tasted the beauty and the sourness of it at an early age. Life never promised me a running in a flower field reality, I won’t lie sometimes it bothers me. I have been planning the new move since 2013 and finally, I find myself ready. I can feel my legs getting weak, but thank God for my soul to hold me up. I have one thing to share with you at this moment, strength and one thing to assure you, you own it. Now back to honesty! Lately I have been finding myself in a situation where the echo of “Play the game” keeps finding its way back to the room. Echoes are supposed to vanish, but this one is getting louder. “Game!” What game? I won’t lie there was an episode where I found myself advising a dear friend, “Just feed him his medicine. And I won’t lie it worked. As I observe the love scene whether in reality, movies, books etc. I can’t help but place myself in situations where I know for a fact I would fail. Yup Fail because I don’t know and more frankly I don’t care about the game. I find it pretty sad that men expect women to play a certain role to be the one, or more so women have to abide by certain rules to win the “Game”. Honey that game has no end, you might cross the finish line as a winner but that race will beat your pace. See the race is never over, as soon as the gun goes off, we have to keep running till we run out. It’s pretty exhausting to sit and wonder and over analyze, I have done it to the point of a nonchalant reaction waking me up. School yourself on how to win You over, it’s the best companion life can offer.

                                                       What a waste of time to admire eh?
Merci DV


Admiring,
MK
 

I advise you to not advise you

Giving advice is the easiest form of control, we can all do it but who can personally execute it? If you recall the last conversation you had, I am pretty sure you will find yourself giving advice. I am pretty grateful for being a focal friend; friends usually seek my advice not for guidance but for reassurance or venting. As I give advice, I think silently “How come I can never follow through?” so I usually advice with an advice of, “Listen I am the last person you should listen to, I mean come on!” the friends know what I am talking about “I have a baby smile on right now” you should see how passionate and articulate I get when I am giving advice, throwing in in examples, solid tones, long pauses, exclamation points that have a loud voice making it clear that I have an surprised face at that moment, basically a movie scene so do the math. Then the time comes when Michelle is giving Michelle advice, it is pretty much the same scenario but following through lasts about a minute, I blame Michelle’s Heart. But dear heart today and for the rest of my story I will stand by your side. Thank you for falling in love when you felt it and thank you for breaking and healing and thank you for finding honesty in every man and thank you for being mine. Last night he told me, “Listen Michelle, honesty is found in everyone it’s up to you to bring it to life.” #amen

AND MIT MALYOUN MARA

Smiling,

MK

Perfect for perfection

When I receive messages “I love your patriotism, I used to be like that.” I feel the urge to respond, “Bravo ya schmuck!” but I refrain. Some people usually express their thoughts on my thoughts through unfiltered messages such us, “Michelle you are a beautiful girl why do you always talk politics, can you stop!” Again I feel the urge to respond, “Bravo ya schmuck!” but I refrain. Can someone explain to me this unnecessary growing trend? #oyvey I am not a political person because I am diplomatic I will tell you that!! ;) But I educate myself on that matter, in case I find myself trying to defend my point of view. I grew up in a household that was religious enough to allow me to be open and respectful to all religions. I grew up in a household that knew no politics and that allowed me to explore and learn. I grew up in a world that spoke, speaks and will continue to speak biased politics and religion. Left and right I see broken hearts, breaking hearts due to preconceived, spoiled and never satisfied notions. I won’t go into details because “ma ele khele2”. Today, at 26 I find myself fighting with every bits of what life has grown in me to make someone out of me. I am sure we all are, so for the distractions we say later, for the challenges we say yalla, and for now we keep going. And if you love something, Don’t just love it.

He loved her, she didn't. She loved him, he didn't. When they both loved it was too late.

RIP LOVERS

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I WANT A FOREVER

MK

Minor Vice

I am tired, I am exhausted but I am. At this very moment (10:10 am) I am craving an intimate conversation with a certain someone. A while back I wrote “random, deep and debatable conversations” under hobbies on my resume, I tend to prioritize relationships based on that. It is very important to have mental orgasms; I think they last longer than the sexual ones and you will be praised for the rapid growth of partners “win/win situation”. I decided to fall under the wings of world renowned writers and get lost in their stories, first impression “mon dieu!!!! My vocabulary is terribly poor!!” but anyways I love finding myself in each character, even as a vermin in the metamorphosis by Franz Kafka. I am going on a mini vacation next week with a dear friend; I am excited to do things I haven’t anticipated because I wasn’t aware of. It’s very important to look beyond the borders of our interests and enticing to step out #livebeyond.

I need to live up to my words!!! Maybe one day someone will make me.

 

EWWW Fish #currentreaction

 

 

 

 

Celebrating

MK

Pain is gain

There is a certain point in life, where one should make way for one. Close your eyes and imagine yourself standing in a crowded area, an area where distraction is easy and choices are vast. And then I want you to imagine elongating your arms and pushing everyone aside and allowing him or here to walk through. For some it’s an imagination of a shadow and for some it’s that face and body that as soon as they reach a touchable distance a tight grasp will sing "Hallelujah". I am playing “Forgiven” Alanis Morissette and my thoughts are distracted all I have to say is Life is a drug: addictive, moody, pricey, wild and short lived. If you know what you want, don’t wait. If you love what you have, don’t debate and if you started searching, Good Luck J   

"We all had our reasons to be there
We all had a thing or two to learn
We all needed something to cling to
So we did"

Prostitutes are there for a reason

 

 

Looking forward to the future

MK

Busy Feelings

It is said that “YOU LIVE YOU LEARN” well not in all cases or most cases. As life adds and subtracts days out of our lives, we seem to always live in accordance to feelings. As we live, do our feelings learn? Learn to hold back? Learn to cope? Learn to disregard or acknowledge? Well we might own those feelings, but some of it owns us.

This past weekend the feeling of loss owned many, this feeling has no mercy on anyone and it takes over leaving all feelings on the edge waiting for something or someone to bring them back to life.

I always tell myself that I have drank out of the sour cup of life, but I always remind myself that that cup is always full and I will find myself drinking from it again. I am listening to Bebe “Tu Silencio” one of my favorite songs btw I don’t understand a single word but if you hear me singing it you would assume that Spanish is my native language (wishing). But, this song is like life to me, no matter how in control I think I am or portray it, the truth is I only own the Title “Michelle Kandalaft” and tune, the rest life will write for me, and whether I like the lyrics or not I have to sing along.  WE ALL HAVE TO.

when I look at the world I see broken hearts, but I see hearts and it relieves me

to your hearts and mine I love you

 

 

 

 

 

...

 

MK

Hey OBAMA

And all of the sudden, nothing makes sense.

I am looking forward to the Month of May, not sure why but that month always feels warm and hopeful. Maybe because signs of summer start emerging.

I am a woman of words, but some days I crave silence like today. Too bad!! Meeting in 15 minutes.

Many things/events to look forward too, but there is one thing that GOD DAM GOD DAM I am beyond hesitant.

Nothing at work impresses my taste buds, even the coffee is everything that Mental?

Is anyone really reading this?

Take me away! Not God, you!

PS OBAMA DOESN'T CARE

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU.....AND I MISS YOU I MISS YOU I MISS YOU ........I STILL WANT US TO BE IN A BAND I STILL WANT TO GO TO KFC EVERY FRIDAY AND BORROW YOUR COOL BELL BOTTOM AMERICAN JEANS AND LISTEN TO ROCK MUSIC AND EAT CATHY'S COOKIES WITHOUT KNOWING CALORIES EXIST. IN A COUPLE OF DAYS YOU WILL BE 26 AND I WON'T FEEL OLD.





akh,

MK