Restless Soul

I find it pretty funny/unusual that I can only blog when I am feeling emotionally exhausted. Lately I have been lecturing the people I love about the importance of faking it till making it. “Push for positivity and move forward”. At this moment I am standing in front of me yelling it out loud but for some reason I can’t hear me. Some moments I feel like life is excessively feeding me from the grownups plate, not allowing me to enjoy the baby flavors. “I grew up too fast” I tell myself, but I look around and see the same movie rolling. As I lay in bed every night, I stressfully try to imagine my future. See I have this plan in mind, a big one; I am starting to realize it’s bigger than me. Is that dangerous? Or is it excellent ambition? Only time will tell I guess. Whenever I am out and about dancing and enjoying “ohh yeuuuh” music I can’t help but fall in love with everyone around me, it’s funny how impactful music is!! Throw in the “Khomour” and call it Woodstock!!! I am trying to establish a bond with my feelings at his moment trying to explain what I feel, but nothing is coming out. That brick on the chest that requires that deep breaths with the pfff in the end, has been the chorus this morning.  Responding to that chorus is this chorus “Fear don’t Fail me now”, I am starting to doubt my presence in Lebanon these days and its killing me. I am trying to get all I can so in the end I am fine and every door I knock on is taking a long time to open and I am exhausted. I am aware that life is not honey and sugar and we need to lead the battle but at certain point we need a voice louder than ours, a shoulder firm yet soft, a hug warm and fulfilling. Yesterday I sat with someone I madly adore, a reflecting mirror of my passion, and it’s not the lovely dovey admiration. It’s the deep one that makes you listen, care, acknowledge and worry.  Do you feel that way towards someone? Take a deep moment and think of that one person that you seek to impress, to learn from etc. I believe in life we all need that one person to keep us going. “In life many people will try to put you down, you know not many are blessed with our passion, I advise you to stick to it and never give up, “he said. And I listened!!! So whenever the doubt strikes, I strike back with a double dosage of passion.

To whoever is reading if you find passion, invite it and don’t fight it.

There's a war in my mind, a glamorous one!! care to join?

 

 

 

 

Thankful for YOU

MK

it's a dare to say the truth type of era

Last night I simply lived, I let go of all restrictions that this dam society has imposed and just lived. It’s been a while since I ran around not caring about what people have to say or not acknowledging the pointed fingers that most of the times were just shadows and we all know shadows aren’t harmful!!! But we convince ourselves that if the direction is pointed our way then we are guilty as charged. Well babies it’s all Bullshit, yes you hear me BULLSHIT. I ain’t no saint, but I am far away from being a devil. If I stood loving, they talked. If I stood battling, they talked, if I stood smiling they talked. If I stood for a speech they closed their ears and talked. See we live in a society where people who stand regardless for what, will be targeted to sit down. As I clocked every second of last night, I couldn’t help but think of a certain someone that I have grown to lose all my respect when at one point he owned my all. As I sat and contemplated the thought of him, I realized that sometimes people sit us down not with cruel words or pointed fingers, but with smiles, special moments and empty promises. It’s a dangerous world out there I am telling you. You can never tell what face is hiding behind that mask and yes to me most people are wearing masks. Everyone in this world is singing a different anthem, but non are singing the we anthem. It’s a world of I I then we, and to be frank I joined that choir and I am standing first row. I will remain sincere and passionate but I will drop the “oh excuse me did it stress you out when you tried to walk all over me” shi men heda el haki. Oh one more thing, don’t be afraid to acknowledge what road you sought the important part is that you got to where you have to be.

you have to look beyond what's infront you.......it's all an act of distraction

 

and when you choose truth!! fucking say the truth

 

 

 

mestanfera

 

MK