Empty Home

Let me tell you what's the worst feeling, walking into a cold house where once was full of life of family. I try to let my imagination manipulate reality, mom is in the kitchen cooking on the phone with one of my aunts, brother in his room, father watching TV in the living room. Many rooms yet zero souls. Every time I pass by a lit up house at night, I cannot help but wonder what is this family doing, why isn't mine the same, and let me tell you there are a lot of lit up houses. Please don't cry me a river or anything, just appreciate the presence of a real home. The holidays are around the corner, so make the best out of this one, I am! Mama I’ll be coming home. So I will leave you with one of my favorite quotes from my best friend Paulo Coelho      “Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.”

one two three ....million......still awake

Whatever happened to the counting sheep method to help facilitate the process of a nawme haniye. My thoughts are becoming louder than me at night, it seems as a thought battle occuring. It's a hopeless feeling. Today a man died, he left behind many broken hearts, I saw that sadness in her eyes and in her words. That man wrote a will two days ago!!! Do we hear our clock ticking? And we react upon. It scares me how some people feel death and they deliver a message just at the last minute. All  I could say is, die fast and travel slow.

What if ?

My brain is all over the place, one second I am here the other I am there. I keep coming to the same question, what if? And I hate it. I feel as if I pause and loose time whenever I ask it, but I cannot escape it.  Driving back from the capital I sat in the back seat feeling nauseas, I had nothing to do but think. I thought of my parents, friends, how much more clothes I needed and then I arrived to the most painful thought, my dear friend in heaven. Soon it will be a year and it still feels like yesterday and it still feels like no way. Again the “what if” question comes to the center of the thought, and anger follows after. Life feels on pause all the time when I think of our angel, I try to learn lessons from this incident such as love and don’t hate, live and don’t worry and smile, smile a lot. I feel like deaths unites people, even enemies. There is always this commonality that both parties cannot avoid, and that brings them to stand as one. It is weird how death physically separates loved ones and in some cases joins the ones who claim to hate. Should we wait for death to say sorry I love you or it doesn’t really matter because life is about who wins in the end?

Know Your Center

It was dark and cold that one night, but she shined from a distance.  I couldn’t help but notice this delicate creature as we all walked aimlessly. But she seemed to know her way. She was so beautiful and innocent, so vulnerable and cold. She walked with her arms grasping on to her body, I noticed tears hidden in her eyes and sadness emitting from her soul. Then I looked ahead, and saw a man who walked straight not leaving any trace of attention to look backwards. The puzzle is starting to unravel.  She was the followers and he was the powerful. As I looked deeper into the picture I couldn’t help but despise this man that I have no clue about. How could someone ignore such a beauty? The energy she emitted into the universe absorbed our all. But, he kept walking and walking and she kept following and following. They reached a point where they had to pause and meet. She looked at him afraid, this was not her environment. He intentionally ignored her and departed.  In the taxi back, she was a no one for she left her behind. She looks back at me

When Fashion Speaks Out Loud

I believe people are born with a fashion gene, for not many have the right outlook on it. It doesn't take money to make you a fashionista, it takes guts. Growing up I had a muse surrounding me at all times, Mother. I would steal my dad's leather jackets as he traveled and make clothes. The consequences were far more powerful than the execution. But it didn't stop me; I kept making clothes till the late night hours of the night. So now I finally decided to stop the parent's clothes cutting and buy my own fabric and execute on my behalf. So stay tuned for my own fashion line, it will be a recipe of moi, toi and what my eyes got used to as I grew up my mother. But for now I’ll sneak you in my daily visits, below is a picture of SPJ in Marchesa, one of my favorite designers, I cannot get enough.

Stand for the Champs

Feeling quite full at this moment, Dagher sandwiches can be deadly!!!!!!!!!!!! So Annibal played tonight against Champville, it was a close game.  But what I noticed mostly in this game was a bit of fear that the Annibal champs carried within. Fear leads to hesitation, hesitation leads to loss, and loss leads to losing. Ever since I opened my eyes to this world I have been an Annibal fan, especially since my father was a dedicated player and fan, so in runs in the family and blood. As we sat cheering, our anxiousness kept us jumping.  I thought to myself maybe some crazy music would pump up the adrenalin, there was something missing. So the potential is there, the heart is there, the game is there WTH is missing? Would some cheerleaders do it? Or maybe a louder crowd???  So I’ll blame us, we need to be louder!!!! We need to bring on the winner’s energy.  It is us they reperesent and we need to make a statement.

Goodluck Annibal You make us proud with every step

Photo of the month

                                                                  My Dear friend in Paris
                                                                                 <3